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    Huddle's Mindless Moments

    Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:19:00 -0800

    Ever wonder what the real cause for the almost exclusively male phenomenon of the “mid-life crisis” is? Wonder no more. Huddle provides this missing link in science: RDY syndrome
    Here you see an image of an Ironman “bike course vehicle” covered in the course guy’s tools of the trade – orange traffic cones (known as “witch’s hats” in Australia). Evidently, the run course guys suffer from RYDS and perpetrated this scene. When you consider that bike course guys typically start their day at 1 to 2am – also known as the “drunk driving hour” – on race day and have a very tight timeline to get everything in place by the time the first cyclist hits the road you’ll understand the frantic energy, not to mention cursing, that this discovery must have caused at a very early hour.

    The course guy in this picture is in his mid 60’s (RDY of 14 and a half) but isn’t too old to appreciate being had. With 60-plus of experience in pranks, however, the perpetrators of this incident may have started something they weren’t counting on. The syndrome knows no age limits.

    Why is Marc smiling like it’s Christmas morning? It can only be a severe case of RYDS – and the anticipation of hearing Roch confront a solidly masking tape sealed doorway.

    Showing his potential for asinine behavior, Michael Lovato sports a “thong Speedo”. Paula can’t believe the authenticity of this garment but, as is common with RYDS, no amount of attention to detail is spared to pull off a good joke. Only 19 and a half in RDY, Michael is already showing signs of the syndrome.

    Even common tasks such as haircuts become fodder from those suffering from RYDS. Roch appears happy with this ridiculous hair cut at the hands of a fellow sufferer.

    On the eve of the Ford Ironman 70.3 California at Oceanside, Roch knew he’d be spending some time on Camp Pendleton with the U.S. Marine Corps so he took advantage of this hair cut to go “high and tight”. Of course, as a victim of RYDS, it was only a photo opportunity. Some RYDS sufferers will go to any length to get a laugh.

    Anyway, as you might imagine, I get my share of abuse. Just when you think you’ve one upped your friends, you get a taste of your own medicine. Peacefully asleep, “friends” record the insult. You guys are so immature.

    Science and social convention would classify me as an adult. My wife thinks otherwise. I have tried to convince her for some time that juvenile pranks are one of the most valuable fringe benefits of life. Laughing makes it all worthwhile - laughing at the expense of friends even more so. She sighs in disgust. There will be no agreement. Perhaps it’s a gender based misunderstanding – a difference in the basic sense of humor between females and males that will never be resolved. Are you a fan of the MTV show, Jackass or the movie by the same name? You’re probably male. Enough said.

    I maintain that some of the best moments in life are generated by inane practical jokes played on friends and/or family that result in stories – sometimes sagas – that live on in the historical spoken word to provide a kind of oral history only found in recently discovered cultures in the deep Amazon that have yet to avail themselves of paper & pen – let alone computers with word processing programs. In this way, these tales of the ridiculous can continue to infuse comedy into a world that has more than its share of more serious matters. Why, though, do “adults” continue these juvenile antics well into middle age? Enter RDYS. (Reverse Dog Year Syndrome).

    I believe that since the age of 21, I’ve been aging in reverse dog years (RDY). No, not physically (that’s obvious) but on some level mentally. That is, at the age of 21, I then started reversing age one year for every 7 actual years. If this keeps up, there could be serious trouble when I hit 49 – the RDYS age of 17. To my knowledge RDYS is a syndrome primarily affecting males of the species and, if you think about it, explains many a midlife crisis. Yes, those are 16 to 18-year old men (in 42 to 56-year old bodies) driving around in their convertibles with their smoking hot, 20-something year old girlfriends.

    Thankfully, for most, there is no definable “crisis” but simply a steady stream of puerile gags that continue beyond, not just the age of physical maturity, but well into middle age. RDYS hasn’t been proven yet but with the human genome being mapped, evidence can’t be far off – along with some new drugs to treat this newly discovered condition. Peer reviewed scientific journals will provide discourse about the natural protection from RDYS provided by long bouts of endurance activities – specifically swims, rides, and runs – to an interesting historical population of people knows as “triathletes”. The new treatment, of course, won’t have anything to do with these recess-like childhood activities but a steady stream of Ritalin or the next new blockbuster pharmaceutical equivalent.

    Why am I trying to argue my case? This is a “blog” or so I’m told and, as such, the author needs no justification for his/her thoughts but only the thoughts themselves. Ok, so I obviously still suffer from the fear of “getting in trouble” that accompanies any good prank. Since the perpetrators of the antics featured in the accompanying pictures have already been discovered and brought to justice, I suppose there’s no harm in making them public. So, go ahead, call my mother. See if I care.