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Huddle's Mindless Moments
Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:19:00 -0800
Science and social convention would classify me as an adult. My wife thinks otherwise. I have tried to convince her for some time that juvenile pranks are one of the most valuable fringe benefits of life. Laughing makes it all worthwhile - laughing at the expense of friends even more so. She sighs in disgust. There will be no agreement. Perhaps it’s a gender based misunderstanding – a difference in the basic sense of humor between females and males that will never be resolved. Are you a fan of the MTV show, Jackass or the movie by the same name? You’re probably male. Enough said.
I maintain that some of the best moments in life are generated by inane practical jokes played on friends and/or family that result in stories – sometimes sagas – that live on in the historical spoken word to provide a kind of oral history only found in recently discovered cultures in the deep Amazon that have yet to avail themselves of paper & pen – let alone computers with word processing programs. In this way, these tales of the ridiculous can continue to infuse comedy into a world that has more than its share of more serious matters. Why, though, do “adults” continue these juvenile antics well into middle age? Enter RDYS. (Reverse Dog Year Syndrome).
I believe that since the age of 21, I’ve been aging in reverse dog years (RDY). No, not physically (that’s obvious) but on some level mentally. That is, at the age of 21, I then started reversing age one year for every 7 actual years. If this keeps up, there could be serious trouble when I hit 49 – the RDYS age of 17. To my knowledge RDYS is a syndrome primarily affecting males of the species and, if you think about it, explains many a midlife crisis. Yes, those are 16 to 18-year old men (in 42 to 56-year old bodies) driving around in their convertibles with their smoking hot, 20-something year old girlfriends.
Thankfully, for most, there is no definable “crisis” but simply a steady stream of puerile gags that continue beyond, not just the age of physical maturity, but well into middle age. RDYS hasn’t been proven yet but with the human genome being mapped, evidence can’t be far off – along with some new drugs to treat this newly discovered condition. Peer reviewed scientific journals will provide discourse about the natural protection from RDYS provided by long bouts of endurance activities – specifically swims, rides, and runs – to an interesting historical population of people knows as “triathletes”. The new treatment, of course, won’t have anything to do with these recess-like childhood activities but a steady stream of Ritalin or the next new blockbuster pharmaceutical equivalent.
Why am I trying to argue my case? This is a “blog” or so I’m told and, as such, the author needs no justification for his/her thoughts but only the thoughts themselves. Ok, so I obviously still suffer from the fear of “getting in trouble” that accompanies any good prank. Since the perpetrators of the antics featured in the accompanying pictures have already been discovered and brought to justice, I suppose there’s no harm in making them public. So, go ahead, call my mother. See if I care.